[Translated] I Bought Six Eggs, Frozen

This article is a translation from the original German article “I Bought Six Eggs, Frozen” published by Brigitte on January 21, 2015. All rights to the original content belong to Brigitte.

No partner, no baby – Isabell Wentre*, 40, took her dream from her own child in her hands by herself.

First, I had a bad conscience about mixing goods trade. But then I imagined that this is what all the people do who receive an organ donation when their kidney, liver, or heart doesn’t work anymore.

So, I ordered through the internet six frozen eggs, best quality guaranteed, for about 13,000 Euro. I also ordered the sperm donation. Two months later, I flew to Phoenix, Arizona, and had one of the six fertilized eggs transferred.

During the whole flight back, I stared at pictures of my egg donor. The woman I had chosen even looked a little bit like me; she had a very good social background and German ancestors. I tried to imagine how the child would look and be. Right now, the fertilized egg from a foreign woman was wandering through my uterus!

For years, I have wished for a baby. As an employed lawyer at an international company, I was in a very good financial position, and I was satisfied with my life. But I was not happy. I tried many times to get pregnant with my own eggs, first with my former partner, later on as a single woman. But when nothing worked out, I tried to make friends with the idea of living a life without children: to take the next steps in my career, to engage in social projects, or to buy a dog. But the idea of having nobody for whom I could give everything, whom I could love for a whole lifetime, who needed me, was unendurable for me.

As a single woman, I couldn’t adopt a child, so I had the idea, besides a sperm donation, to get an egg donation to fulfill my wish for a child. Because egg donation is forbidden in Germany, I first thought of going to Czechia or Spain. There, it is possible for German women to get an egg donation without punishment. But then I wouldn’t have known who the donor would have been. And my child would never have the possibility to get to know the biological mother. But I wanted to identify with the woman who would give me the gift of a child. For this reason, I wanted a non-anonymous egg donor.

So I came to America. All this is legal there, and they have been doing egg donations for about 20 years. Among several reproductive clinics with, for me, too high prices, I found an egg bank that seemed to be serious and affordable. When I called there, I felt like being in another world. Had I already seen their more than 400 donors? Did I already know how many eggs I wanted to order and where they should send them – they wanted to know.

Suddenly, my dream seemed so close that I got a little bit scared. What should I tell my child later on, my family, my friends? Would I be able to say that I had put together my planned child through the internet? From the beginning, I knew that the egg donation would be my secret. The sperm donor, I would say, was a flirt on holidays.

To make a final decision, I went to church often and prayed to God; I was looking for understanding and sympathy for my plan. Indeed, suddenly I got tremendous strength through my prayers, my thoughts, and my inner conversation with God. Now I was very sure that each child would have the blessing of God and He would give me the power to live with my decision. Later on, I would explain to my child that I had wished for them so much that I had asked wonderful people if they could help me.

For one and a half years now, Linus (name is changed) has been running through my life, with his infectious laugh and his hilarious nature. He has brown eyes, fine facial features, and a small snub nose—exactly like me and exactly like his biological mother.

The way to my planned child might have been extraordinary, but for me, it was the only way. And, it was a way I would always choose again. Linus is the love of my life.

The Moment of the Decision: When, through my inner dialogues with God, it became clear how I could explain to my child later on how they came into being.

The Most Wonderful Recognition: When one of my best friends promised to be the godmother to Linus and to take care of him if something were to happen to me.

Original Article: “I Bought Six Eggs, Frozen” by Julia Ferrat, published in Brigitte on January 21, 2015. Translated by The World Egg & Sperm Bank.